Semana 23: How to Make a Grown Man Almost Poop his Pants

Hellooooo friends and family! I sure hope you all are having a STUPENDOUS week!! I sure did! We actually got a lot of good things accomplished and I cannot wait to tell you about it.

AwWwWW

First off you are probably wondering how to actually make a grown man almost poop his pants and trust me, I have discovered two ways this week...

The first one is quite simple. You need 4 different variables to make this all possible

1. Narrow Alley

2. Darkness

3. Small Fence

4. Big Dog

That is right, I was walking down this dark alley at night with my companion and out of nowhere this massive dog just launched himself at me and scared the absolute schniz outta me. I booked it out of there and kinda left my companion for dead. He made it out alive too but man the only thing I was thinking at that moment was "All I gotta do is out run my companion", which was not hard to do at all (subtle roast). The dogs here are absolutely insane, they have that crackhead/possessed by a devil energy for real. If Cosmo(my dog) didn't get eaten by the people here, he definitely would be eaten by the dogs. 

Now for the second one...let's just say that one thing I am grateful for this week from home is the FDA. Now I don't want to get into too much detail but my stomach got wrecked a good few times this week hahaa! I am really trying to not make the traditional "missionary pooping their pants" story a reality. 

Fish???

I'm sure you all are wondering how the Spanish is coming along and I have the perfect way to describe it to you. So my companion and I were looking out the window and we saw some lightning and I said "Elder! Cómo se dice lightning en español?" Elder Ruiz replied and said, "relámpago" and I wasn't sure exactly what he said and I repeated it back..."repangalo??" The man drops to the floor crying laughing and tells me that's what 5 year old kids with speech impediments say when they try to say lighting in Spanish. So take a 5 year old who is Mexican, give him a speech impediment and that's about where my Spanish is sitting at right now ahahah! BUT I did beat the entire bishop's family in Spanish scrabble so that's gotta count for something. Hey, I am improving everyday and I would rather speak like a 5 year old than use just hand gestures all the time like my first 2 days out in the field. 

More Food....pasta and tortillas?

I take back what I said about Mexico being cold, it is freaking hot. I don't know what happened here but it went from down pouring rain and freezing cold to the devil's armpit in just two days.

Speaking of the devil, I was talking to some sisters in my district and apparently they had some sort of evil Spirit in their apartment. It would move things and the sisters could sometimes see it in the corner of their room at night. The Assistants and the mission president went to their apartment and gave a blessing on the home and cast out the evil Spirits. The two sisters told me that during the blessing, they could feel some force pushing on their back. President confirmed to me that he felt the same thing as well. My mission President told me that it happens a lot here and he wouldn't be surprised if I have to cast out some devils from homes and people while on the mission. So that's... fun!

A few of our dozens of attempts at making a 30 second video

We don't have cars in this mission so our only method of transportation is walking or using taxis. We got in a Taxi to drive to a different church building and the taxi driver was way cool and handed us his phone and told us to aux up. Satan kinda took over my voice for a second and I blurted out in Spanish, "PLAY LUIS FONSI!!" My companion turned around, gave me the stink eye, and started playing the 2021 Youth Theme album all the way to the church building. Glad I have a companion that sets an example for me haha!

This is how I do pull ups in the morning.  

We had to go to the stake center to get flu shots this week and my gosh if you put a Mexican
and a needle in the same room, you are going to have the biggest cry fest you have ever seen. Obviously I am exaggerating a little bit but I'm not kidding when I tell you that there were several 20 year old Elders sitting in a corner almost in tears because they had to get a shot. They volunteered me to go first and chanted my name as I was being pushed into the room like I was about to be sacrificed or something. As I was getting the shot, 10 or so Elders were looking through the doorway biting their nails and covering their eyes. When the needle entered my arm, some of them groaned, some fell to the floor, and others walked away saying "I cannot look". The needle didn't even hurt at all and it was really entertaining watching them get their shot after HAHA! 

I aspire to obtain the level of thiccccness Elder Ruiz has.

So this Sunday was...special. First off we didn't plan out our water ration accurately.  We ran out Saturday night and we woke up Sunday morning with no water. We tried to go the entire day without drinking water but that was just way too difficult. So I had to make the life determining decision of either drinking the faucet water and risk getting a tapeworm or breaking the Sabbath and buying water at the store. Since I don't believe right now is my time to meet my maker, my comp and I bought water on the Sabbath. Lord forgive us! I don't even want to get into the idiot who locked the keys in the apartment (yes that was me). We also realized we didn't have any bread so we used pancakes for the sacrament and that made everything better :)

Name the movie. I will give you 20 Pesos and a ride to the Bishops office to repent.

Same for this one

As I have been warned in the past, Mexico missions are high key apostate and they don't really have an urgency to work hard. I kinda fell into some problems with my companion about staying obedient and such. I noticed it the first few days with him but I was a little nervous to say something about it. Finally, this week I talked to him FOR 2 HOURS about working hard and reevaluating our missionary efforts. The Lord really helped me with that because those 2 hours were the longest I ever spoke in Spanish straight. We made some solid plans and since then everything has been going good. We are taking those small baby steps to get where we want to be. I changed daily planning to first thing in the morning so my companion doesn't have the chance to sleep in until 9:30 anymore hahaha. I let him sleep for an hour after while I am working out which is not the most ideal thing in the world but at least we are getting those important studies and finding blocks in. BABY STEPS! This is proof right here that when you do something out of love, changes can and will be made!

Found this hat while helping a family clean out their shed. 

I want to end this week by saying how grateful I am to be here in México. Something I've been working on is positivity and looking on the bright side of every outcome. Last year was by far the hardest year of my entire life. I was beat mentally, physically, spiritually and just about every "ly" ending word but we are not going to get into all of them because we don't have all day hahaha. I am so beyond grateful for all of the wonderful life lessons I have learned and the person its formed me into. It has taught me humility, patience, and trusting in the Lord. It has been a blessing to have a fresh start to the new year in a new place with new people. Being here has definitely brought on new trials but it's nothing I can't handle. 

I love you all. Thank you for being there for me. I don't think y'all understand how much I care about each one of you. Keep hanging in there <3

-Elder Jax

Adios!