Semana 22: Life Lessons Brought to You by Yours Truly

Being a privileged white boy from Gilbert, Arizona, I have been sheltered to the way the other 99% of the world lives. With that being said, I have learned many incredible life lessons that will probably never benefit me where I live but if I ever need to escape from the United States to Mexico for some outlandish reason, I know my ´way´ (pun intended). 

President and Sister Perkins, Elder Ruiz and I

Number 1: DO NOT WAVE AT TAXI´S

Again, being a gringo from the United States, I am sad to say that I only recall seeing taxis in the airport and in New York City. Plus I never need a taxi anyways because we have our own cars to drive. So my companion (trying to help me build my confidence in talking to people on the streets) told me to wave to EVERYONE and say the bare minimum "¡Buenos dias! ¿Como está?" to EVERYONE we walk past. So I did just that and everything was going great...and being the lunkhead I am, I waved at a taxi driver. The taxi driver flashed his brights, pulled over and rolled down his window. I had to explain to him in my terrible Spanish that I didn't actually need a ride, rather I was just giving him a friendly wave. That happened three too many times this week.

Taxi drivers here are INSANE drivers

Number 2: Don't say Buenas Nachos

Just don't do it... they don't think it is funny at all

Tortas

Number 3: Do NOT say "no way"

Ironically, my zone leader back in the Syracuse mission warned me about this. Sorry Elder Power if you are reading this, I have failed you. It just slipped okay! So we were talking to the Bishop and his family and he was telling us a VERY funny story about his experience on the mission (at least I think it was supposed to be funny) and I started laughing and said "no way"... for those of you who don´t know, the Spanish word "guey" sounds exactly like "way" in English and that word is very VERY bad in Mexico. So basically I said "No *bad cuss word*" to the bishop. Everyone's eyes went wide and my companion quickly said "No diga eso" and...embarrassing.

To put in perspective how much taller I am.

Number 4: Mexican Children like to clown on the Gringos

We were at the Bishops house eating dinner and such. His two little sons wanted to play a game of monkey in the middle with me. So I agreed and we were having a blast. Suddenly, one of the kids just dropped to the ground and was screaming bloody murder and tears were streaming down his face. I instantly thought I accidently hit him or trampled him and hurt him pretty badly. I instinctively made the "shhhhhh" noise referring to the classic "don´t tell mom" phrase that we have all used. No lie, I was stunned and I just look at the son´s mom high key freaking out... I knew any second there was going to be flying sandal in the air directed straight towards my skull. The bishop looks at me and just starts busting up laughing. The kid jumps up, wipes off his fake tears, and points at me and yells "GOTCHA". My face was as red as a tomato while the rest of them were basically on the floor laughing. Good times. Mess with the white guy will ya.

Action Shot: Caught me lackin

Number 5: There´s no such thing as "I am full" 

No matter how full you are, they will tell you that you aren't

Pancakes taste the same in Mexico

Number 6: Siestas are not a thing on the mission
I was really hoping they were, but they are not and I´m just going to have to live with that.

Number 7: Do not hang up your clothes to dry without a covering over it.

Yeah it took like 6 days for the G´s to air dry because it was raining for three of those days. Also, don't listen to what people say, Mexico is freaking cold. It snowed 30 minutes away from where we live and it was literally all over the news. 

Number 8: Cars don´t stop for you.
Mexican drivers treat humans the same way they would treat a random trash bag in the middle of the road. If you are not observant of your surroundings, then you are going to be one hunk of a roadkill.

Me on a train track

Now for the rest of the week, nothing too crazy happened. We had a few lessons and our friend Oliver is doing great! We haven't been able to get a hold of him in like 4 days but he's doing great! (language of faith). We were under a 4 day quarantine by the state government because COVID in our region is very bad, so we were in our apartment and didn't really leave unless it was a necessity. My companion insisted that we didn't need to buy food and the only thing we had was like 4 dozen worth of eggs, SO I ate only eggs for 4 days straight and it was brutal. 

Reppin the Carhartt

We were playing dodgeball with our zone after one of our district/zone councils and my companion ripped through the seam of his pants in front of the Sisters and it was so freaking funny. Been there done that, I know how you feel my guy. 

Being a foreigner, I am always eager to try the latest and greatest Mexican food and really dive into the culture head on. My companion had a completely different idea, we´ve had Little Caesars 3 times, IHOP, and Burger King all this past week. I'm about to riot. 

Hope everyone has an amazing week! Please send some emails back. I'd love hearing from y'all!

Love youuuuuuuuu

Elder Scown

One of my favorite drawings of Jesus